RIP to my Plants

Soo at the beginning of Lockdown I decided to try my hand at horticulture-ing. Both my mother and my grandmothers had very green thumbs. My mom kept annuals alive all year long inside and outside our Chicago home. Her mother had an extensive lily and rose garden high in the beautiful mountains in Arizona and my dad’s mom grew lemon and orange trees in the freaking dessert. Bonus? She is the ONLY person on her block that still, to this day, has green grass – everyone else has rocks. I figured okay… how hard could this be?

I had two packets of seeds and an instant-garden set that I got from a friend that I had been waiting for the perfect time to plant. So boom quarantine! I get my pots. I get my special dirt and plant food. I dedicated a Saturday. I plant…

Y’all, when I tell you every single thing that I put in the ground and prayed over and watered and talked to and willed to grow leaves died I am not kidding. Everything. All of it. Now I won’t lie. I got parsley and chives to grow… for a minute. But my edible flowers for cookies and my lilacs, English Daisies, and Primrose? Never.even.made.it.out.of.the.soil.

DEVASTATION! At one point the soil molded? Idk. Maybe I over watered them? Or maybe I left them in the hot sun too long? Honestly, I don’t know.

I’m not worried though because I knew something like this might happen, so I only planted half of my seed stockpile. I have just about half of all of my edible and wildflower seeds left so we will soon (this weekend) embark on a new adventure. I have sourced new pots and new plant resting places. I have enlisted the help of my youngest brother who is, of course?, a master at this and we will begin again.

If we are being honest though I will probably buy some already live perennials after this. As long as they come with instructions I should be fine. If I murder those too? Fake plants it is!

Do y’all have any tips for me? Any seeds to buy or any processes to try? I am all elephant ears (ha! dad joke, sorry)!