Empty Space Love

What is the word for missing someone so much you have a hole in your heart but when you’re with them you fall back into old routines so quickly it’s like you were never apart? That feeling that is just so strong that you have to remind yourself that they are not just hanging out for a few hours and then you can see them again the next day, but they will be going back to wherever they are living and you will soon have a bigger hole in your space!

That’s how I feel right now.

My family finally came to visit me last week after me wanting them to come hang all Summer. Soon after the initial shock of them being here we feel into our usual pattern of fun and laughter until I realized they would be leaving in a few days. I realized that I would be without them again for even longer and it broke my heart.

They flew out this morning and my little sister cried getting into the car and it made me cry too. I realized that they are what I miss the most about being younger. Even though it is sometimes annoying, growing up in a big family always means that someone is nearby to listen to your day or give you a hug or let you be your own person in a way that even a spouse or significant other can’t. I love where I live and the things that I am able to do but not being able to walk into a another room and see them or drive quickly across town for a short hang out makes me sad.

I wonder if this ever gets easier?

I know that I have had a different experience than other big sisters or people in large families and that is mostly a credit to my parents. They taught us to love each other and fight for each other in a way that all of our friends have mentioned is irregular. However, I know I am can’t be alone.

How does it feel when you leave friends like family or family? What is a word for that broken feeling? And how do we make it better or make it through?

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