I am writing this to clear my mind. I feel like I have been working my job for months but it has only been three weeks.
I have had trouble writing and getting back in the swing of things. I think it is because I am over thinking everything, something I am want to do, and because I am trying to do too much still.
I prayed at the beginning of the year for friends, a job, and for a companion and I realized over this past weekend I am trying to MAKE all of these things happen by myself. Of course, I am still praying and still trying to focus on doing the right things but it is haaarrrddd to do all of the the things that I feeelllllI that I am supposed to do… as if I would even know.
So, I have decided to take a step back – from trying to find a partner, from creating a friend group, and from nurturing relationships that could eventually form into companionship. I need to free myself from whatever it is that I think I’m doing.
Now, I won’t lie… I have had fun these past two weeks and weekends here in the city. I have done almost everything that I wanted to do and met up with almost everyone I wanted to see. But last Friday, I decided against an event and on Monday I stayed all by myself, alone, in my space. I think going forward I need to embrace doing those things so that I am able to work well with others and better for myself. Early to sleep and rise. Free your mind so that you can do and be your best.
Do not get bogged down. Let others express their interest in being near to you. Clear your heart and soul. Let God do it.
Know that you are smart enough to do everything. But be smart enough to know that you don’t have to do everything.